Done With February

February has been a whirl wind kind of month....

on 2/1, I had surgery for a Meckel's Diverticulum removal, turns out I had a false positive test and there was NO Meckel's Diverticulum to remove, so it was an unneeded surgery.

on 2/9, I contracted sepsis and possible peritonitis, which caused my body to struggle severely for about 24 hours, wound up being inpatient for a week

on 2/16, I contracted the flu and am still recovering from it and the sepsis

on 2/27, I contracted an ear infection in my left ear.

all of this is the reason I havent been blogging for so long. I'm slowly getting back into my routine and doing things again, but its a slow process. I'm thankful for the support my family and friends have given me, and the support I've received from my new found chronic pain support group has been incredible.

I need all your prayers, thoughts and good vibes that you are able to give, my body is struggling more than usual. hoping for a better March.

sorry, but no pictures for this post

Mono and a Meckel's Diverticulum

my first case of Mono was diagnosed in February 2009, my second case of Mono was diagnosed in December 2011, my third case of Mono was diagnosed in May 2015, and now my fourth case of Mono was diagnosed in January 2017.

if you are unaware, most people who get Mono will build an immunity to the virus the first time having it and will not have it again. I am not most people. I have a bad immune system that cant seem to keep Mono away, so thus, I've had it four times. each time, my body begins to struggle more and a decline begins, causing a permanent issue of higher levels fatigue, new diagnoses and any thing else my body decides it wants to do with this case of it. there is no treatment for Mono except rest, but my pediatricion informed me today that I need to do more because I already have issues with POTS and the less you move, the less resistance to the POTS symptoms I have. so, we'll continue to monitor, continue to check all body systems, and expect the worst, but hope for the best.

what the heck is a Meckel's Diverticulum?!

it is a bulge coming off the intestine, that shouldve gone away in the womb – it is a remnant of the vitelline duct, often called the yolk stalk – it appears in roughly 2% of the population, most are asymptomatic, for those that do have symptoms, it is usually found by the age of 2 - the symptoms include blood in bowel movements and abdominal pain.

some of my own history for you... in 2009/2010 I was diagnosed with arthritis and began treating the pain with NSAIDs (aleve, advil, etc), but had blood in one of my bowel movements so we stopped immediately. my arthritis began to get worse and over the years we would try NSAIDs for a couple weeks, but it always ended with blood in my GI bleeding, but I only ever had blood if I had been taking NSAIDs. in August 2015, I began experiencing much more intense and constant pain so we tried NSAIDs one last time, it ended the same way, but even after we stopped, I was still having GI bleeds every couple months. I had one again in November and my pediatricion was worried and asked us to talk to my GI doctor again about trying to figure out what was causing it. we had done a colonoscopy and upper scope already and had found nothing. we saw my GI doctor a week later and he said I should get a Meckel's scan, looking for a Meckel's Diverticulum. I got the scan and it came back positive, I do in fact have a Meckel's Diverticulum. so, we saw my surgeon on 1/11/2017 and it will be surgically removed on 2/1/17

One good thing that came from this, I will be able to carefully use NSAIDs again once its removed, which means better control of my arthritis and the pain it causes me.

not many pictures for this post, but as I'm sure you expect, I'm super tired from the Mono

Perfection

I really dont consider anything perfect... I think situations, people, animals and everything else can be beautiful, inspiring, helpful, a learning opportunity. I dont consider myself perfect in anyway, but after years and years of struggling with accepting my body and myself completely, I've come to love it and understand it, and be confident in the skin I'm in. I can only hope everyone has an opportunity to feel this way about their body, and themselves, at some point in their lives. my body is forever changing, whether its a new diagnosis or my fluctuation in weight, I'm never the same all the time and I'm okay with that now. I do compare myself to other people, but I dont do it in a negative way, I acknowledge that I'm bigger than most of my friends, but my stomach is beautiful! my favorite thing to see is a person being confident in their clothes and body, I honestly dont care if you're completely covered or completely naked, I say live your best life, wear that bikini, wear that over sized sweater, dont care what people think! my philosophy is, as long as I'm not hurting anyone, I am going to live my life how I want to live my life, wear what I love to wear and put my makeup on how I want to wear it, do my hair how I want!

something I love about my kitten, Lexie, is she has mostly black whiskers, but she has 3 or 4 white whiskers! something I love about my dog, Sloane, is her 1 white paw – that we affectionately call her sugar foot – and the 2 black nails and 2 white nails that she has on that foot! 

I love my scars, stretch marks and birth marks! I have a birth mark on my left thigh, near the top of my knee, I love it because my mom has one in the same spot, just a bit bigger, I feel special that I got to have it and match with my mom, not once have I been ashamed of that birth mark, even when I hated my body the most (it is pictured below). I have scars from surgeries that have helped me live to this day. I have scars from self harm, and while I'm not proud of my self harming, I am incredibly proud of my perseverance and making it to 3+ years clean of it (the last time I did it was in December 2013).

I am proud of the strides I've made throughout my life, and if those strides come with some scars or stretch marks, I feel pretty damn proud of those scars and stretch marks.
(the red scratch on visible on picture #4 is from Lexie)

Resolutions 2017

resolutions can sometimes seem funny and unrealistic for someone in a situation like mine that is always changing because of health issues, but I want to make some with the understanding that they could change or be altered depending on my health....

1. photograph more!

I want to utilize one of my most useful coping mechanisms and passions more than I did in 2016, even if its just taking pictures from my bedroom

2. photograph more events!

I was honored to have been able to photograph a wedding for some dear friends and would love to do more of it

3. blog blog blog!

I started this blog and I really want to keep posting regularly with updates and photographs

4. be more caring towards my body!

I care for my body in that I take medicine and do treatments to help it, but I rarely do things like wash my face, I want to do more of that

5. learn and do more makeup!

in the summer of 2016 I started doing my own makeup for the first time in many years and I want to continue doing it

6. volunteer more!

I completed my adult volunteering classes for Cook Childrens in 2016 and want to take advantage of that

7. learn to do photoshop!

with wanting to do more photography, it would be a good skill to have

8. enter contests for my photography!

I came in 3rd place at my very first photography contest and want to do more of it

9. lose some weight!

I am not ashamed of my body, shape or weight, but the more I weigh, the more difficult my health issues could become

10. spend more time with friends and family!

I spent lots of time with friends and family in 2016, but I want to do more of it in 2017

11. continue having fun and experimenting with my hair!

2016 brought many new hair styles, including a buzzed 'do and I want to continue that

here are just a few of my favorite photographs from 2016;

Snow Day 2017

it has snowed in Texas for the first time since 2015 and I managed to get out and take some photos to document it